Cat Bot Strike Ends with Signing of Historic Agreement

Posted by Toonces T. Cat on Wednesday, December 20th, 10:00 AM CDT

It's finally over: Justice is Blind and so is [DC] Cat-Dog El Gato Diablo, [DC] Cat-Dog, and Archie in front of the new UT challenge sign after inking the final agreement After weeks of uncertainty, the Cat Bot strike ended early today. It appeared yesterday that everyone had settled in and prepared themselves for an extended walkout. Late last night, in a surprise move, the mutant UT player [DC] Cat-Dog was asked to intervene in a last minute effort to salvage the earlier agreement between the Cat Bots and the human players. [DC] Hawk, the interim negotiator said, "[DC] Cat-Dog is uniquely qualified to handle situations like this. He's half cat, half dog and looks like a blind human. Who could possibly be better suited to understand all of the issues in this dispute?" It was obvious to all parties that [DC] Cat-Dog would be totally immune from accusations that he was only seeing the matter from one side. When asked for a comment El Gato Diablo said, "See it from both sides…What the hell are you talking about? Cat-Dog is as blind as a bat…He can't see things from either side. But hey, he is half cat so we're going to go with it." After hours of secret negotiations, five orders of cheap pizza, several 12-packs of Colt .45 malt liquor, and a single six-pack of Tequiza requested by Cat-Dog, the group emerged with the signed document. All of the points contained in the earlier contract will still be in force and a few additional items have been added. Most of the new points deal with the compensation and benefits packages, but one item will undoubtedly be a source of lingering controversy. The Dog Bots proved to be very popular with both the players and the fans. The Cat Bots have agreed that ten members of their union will move to the Dead Kitty's UT Server and ten of the Dog Bots will have permanent status on the Stuffed Cats Inc. machine. Lead Dog-Bot Archie commented, "It's just great that some of our guys will be playing full-time on the Stuffed Cats Inc. Server…It's a real honor to play on a machine of that caliber. It's going to be rough on the Cat-Bots being sent down to the minors. What else can I say…We showed management that we're ready for prime-time." As the group broke up to prepare for tonight's games, [DC] Cat-Dog was heard saying, "Get me some aspirin…lot's of aspirin…and hurry!" -Toonces

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One New CTF Map Tonight: CTF-Where Eagles Dare

Posted by Toonces T. Cat on Monday, December 18th, 5:00 PM CDT

CTF-Where Eagles Dare: Yes indeed...It's just like the movie! This really neat CTF map shares a lot in common with CTF-Urban Hot Zone...It is badly unbalanced. Frankly, it is such a great map that I don't care! The Red base is far more difficult to defend as you can drop into it. If the Red players get the Blue flag, however, it's going to be very difficult to stop them from scoring. If the better players can collect on the Blue side once it's up on the server, it should make for one heck of a game. It runs unbelievably well for such a huge layout and I can't remember the last time I had this much fun with a map just playing against the bots. You can do some really neat stuff in CTF-Where Eagles Dare in low gravity...which I'll let y'all discover for yourselves. Thanks go out to [DC] Tack for coming up with this little gem! -Toonces

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Scab Bots Cross the Cat Bot Picket Line

Posted by Toonces T. Cat on Sunday, December 17th, 6:00 PM CDT

[DC] Hawk brings in outside labor: Who Let the Dogs Out!!! [DC] Hawk and his new allies in CTF-A Dam Too Far [DC] Hawk and Dog Bot Archie plan game strategy The unthinkable happened today when scab labor, in the form of Dog Bots, crossed the Cat Bot picket lines and starting working on the Stuffed Cats Inc. Server. When asked for a comment [DC] Hawk said, "We are not going to be intimidated by the union thuggery of the Cat Bots and their bullying army of shyster lawyers. The Dog Bots are just hard working pieces of artificial intelligence. They have families and little programs at home they need to feed. We're happy to be able to give them some temporary employment this close to the Holiday season." [DC] Hawk has taken over as the lead negotiator for the Dead Cats after Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was arrested for pooping on the game maps. The regular spokesman for the Dead Cats, [DC] Spot, was unavailable for comment. Reportedly he is in Palm Beach, Florida taking a crash course in ballot design. -Toonces

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